Shmee: Lost, Not Forgotten


Shamus Helgason

Shamus Timothy Helgason

(May 8, 1986 – October 25, 2006)

It’s been 16 years.

There are days when I think I see you walking around Uptown wearing your girlfriend’s jeans. I’ll see your car and think about you. I’ll think about following the car and see if you get out…

I remember working together and making you laugh so hard you’d double over applauding. I remember your beautiful sass. I remember Halloween at Ragstock, commentary in the back of the van before bowling, hating Ian, kickball, smoking cigarettes, drinking lots of coffee and knowing everything about anything.

You introduced me to Blue Moon. We decided the perfect follow-up beer was Heineken. You gave me my flask. You stole my bike. You brought it back. And you laughed the whole time…

I remember your funeral. I remember never crying so hard in my entire life. I remember feeling sick. I remember you not looking like you. I remember hundreds of people crying. I remember seeing your parents world crumbling.

I miss you, Shmee.

We all do.

Until our next adventure,
“Sport Coat Mike”

PS… It’s been 16 years and I feel you here every day. Thank you for being present in my life, then and now. Thank you for listening to all the shit I ramble on about. Thank you for helping me in ways only you’ll understand.

Shamus Helgason

EDIT: Last week I was walking through a parking lot with Mikey, Jason, and Dave. The boys cut through the parked cars and I continued walking down the lane. Minutes later I was separated from the group. They crossed the street and I continued across the parking lot eventually meeting the sidewalk.

And then there you were.

You were on a BMX riding toward me. You were wearing a red hoody with jeans and a light t-shirt. Your hair was shaggy, emo, and beautiful.

I’m so glad we were able to meet each other in passing. You looked cool as ever.

Thinking of you and your family today. Here’s to you, my friend. Until we meet again.

–May 8, 2013. Zibo, Shandong, China.

Yesterday, Ken and I were en route to retrieve the Uhaul which would soon hold all the contents of his life when Ken said, “Shmee is the best answer for everything.”

Ken never met you, but those were the words he said. I couldn’t agree more. Missing you, Shamus. Especially today.

–October 25, 2015. Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA.